$250 K is the latest number slapped on the question of how much a child costs on average during their first 18 years! 250K!!!!!
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$250,000/18 is roughly $13,889 a year for your child or $1157.4 per month. What?!?!?! Since when do babies cost this much?
This number looked so out of proportions to me until I started considering day care expenses, education funds, vacations, summer camps and then it all started to make sense.
Add to that the beginning expenses that pour in even before the baby has had an opportunity to crown. Strollers (by the way since when do those range in the thousands?) cribs, toys, clothes, southing machines, humidifiers, bath tubs, etc…
You blink once and you are looking at north of a few thousand dollars worth of inventory and you don’t even have a baby yet.
And then, you become a parent. And it all begins: diapers, formula, clothes, organic baby food. Then toddlerhood with its multitude of snacks, clothes, toy options, bicycles, learning toys, books etc. It is so easy to fall down the path of “oh it just costs $10” mentality, which usually culminates with you staring at your monthly credit card bill, wondering “how”. Most items we get our kids don’t cost that much but they sure do accumulate. Before long you are paying $500-600 a month on “not that expensive” items.
I made quite a few of these impulse buys myself and let me tell you: most of them will not bring you, nor your little one, the joy you think it will.
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So, $250,000!!!
I stared at this number for a bit and read a few breakdowns that supported it and yet, somehow it just didn’t feel right to me. Here is the thing… I believe that $250,000 is quite the normal amount for many when it comes to having a child, however the little frugal voice inside my head did not seem satisfied and kept nudging. So, I got to work.
After a bit of research, doing some basic math, strategizing and plugging a few numbers into a spreadsheet, I realized that there are ways to keep the expenses down and the best part is that you could do that without giving up on every splurge item, vacations or extra curricular activities. It seemed to me that by just adopting a frugal mindset when it comes to expenses it is possible to stay below spending expectations! I can now say that after four years we have done just that. So, I want to share my ideas and findings with you for anyone who might find this useful.
So how did we do it?
It is absolutely possible to have a baby and not break the piggy bank. All you need is a little planning and it all begins with a subtle change of mindset.
- Impulse Buying
With the abundance of all the wonderful “must have” items out there, push ads now becoming a big marketing tool for multitude of vendors and the easy delivery methods that will bring everything you need right to your doorstep it is almost impossible to not fall down a never ending spending spiral.
Think about it, everything you need could be yours with just a push of a button. But right here is where I am going to say STOP! I have been there. Pregnant and in full nesting mode, spending hours looking up cribs, strollers, researching and adding more and more items to my must-have lists and online shopping carts. But instead of pushing the confirm your purchase” button, I decided to do something a little different…wait. And wait I did. You see, I made a rule that under no circumstance would I press that check out button before I have left it in the cart for a few days (yes… days) and I have thoroughly considered it and asked myself if it is indeed necessary or just something I would like to have.
This little rule has made a huge difference for me and saved me thousands of dollars over the years.
So feel free to look at whatever you want and populate your lists with items, just give yourself some time to think it over and see what falls in your “need” category and which ones belong to the “want” list.
It is important to remember that your expenses will grow with your kids. You need to plan for daycare expenses (which depending on where you live can be as much as $1,600 per month); future classes and extracurricular activities (be it piano, soccer, hockey, etc, it will cost you); vacations (especially if you plan to travel outside the country); education fund (some of you might want to provide your little ones with a bit of financial cushioning in the future) and many more. Which takes me to my next point…
- $ spent on items = less $ spent on experiences
My main guiding principle that I recite in my head every time I visit a toy store or another tempting place is that money spent on toys/clothes/trinkets today is less money you will have to spend on classes/activities/traveling tomorrow. I am a full supporter of the idea that experiences create much stronger memories and bonding than toys you buy your kids. And the future activities, camps, and classes you sign them up for will have a more positive impact on social and developmental levels.
So before I commit to buying yet another toy or outfit I ask myself if this is really necessary for the development and entertainment of my child? How will this item affect their happiness in the long run? And an even more important question is: if I DO NOT buy it, how will that impact her? Remember that the majority of the items we buy are based on purely psychological impulse of wanting something that very instant. Often if we could ignore that impulse by just thinking a bit about why we want it in the first place we will discover that we just might not need it.
- Budget your finances and establish monthly allowance for child expenses
This one is a biggie and such a scary idea for many. I feel like every time I tell someone that they should track their expenses they imagine late nights, receipts scattered all over the kitchen table, sweat dripping down the brow as they clack away on the calculator. Or maybe not. Maybe it just seems like a big bother so they just procrastinate or never get to it. Here is the thing though, it really doesn’t have to be complicated at all. All you need to do is to create a simple organizational system:
1. break down your expenses into categories and importance
2. set monthly goals for every category
3. If you have multiple bank accounts, download an app on your phone that consolidates them all in one place, allowing you to track all of your bills at once
4. Spend a little time once per week to make sure everything is tallied up and to look at how close you are to your monthly limit for each category. It is important that you build this into a habit and even if you skip one day make sure you catch up when you can.
5. Do not forget to account for a “rainy-day” fund and tuck away a small amount each month. This will come in handy if something comes up unexpectedly and it will give you peace of mind. - Embrace the greatness of secondary markets
Before you look for anything new you want to buy for your baby, search through listings on Kijiji, Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, etc. There are always amazing deals to be found there, guaranteed. And sure, you probably are not going to get that shiny $1,500 brand new stroller but you can easily find a great $200-400 substitute that will do the trick just fine.
This pretty much applies to everything you need to buy carrying forward. I got two large bags full of newborn – 6-month clothes for $50 from FB marketplace, and some of the best toys that my daughter played with for months at a time I bought for $10 – $20 off of fellow moms.
To give you an idea, we managed to stay at roughly $200 – $250 per month for the first 2 years for all the necessary items with a bit leftover. That went up a bit when my daughter turned two and we had to start paying for her airline tickets and a few extra classes. The number included everything from diapers to food, toys, and classes. The thing that helped us a lot was that we never had to pay for daycare. We chose to homeschool our daughter because our schedules allowed and I had morning and early afternoons free to spend them taking care of her.
* Full Disclosure: We did spend more per month, however, that was only because of specific choices we made as we revised our monthly budget coupled with the fact that we live in Canada where the government offers monthly child benefit that allowed us to splurge a bit more. (For example, we opted out for more expensive diapers that were fully biodegradable with very low impact on the environment compared to the usual brands)
The number I have provided as a guide has discounted the few “splurge” items we bought and the classes we signed our daughter for because of that extra amount we received. Rest assured, we never came close to the $1,157.40 per month even during the years when we took two vacations. We cruised between $400- $600 depending on the month. I know that this number might sound like a small fortune to many so I feel like I should mention that we live in Toronto, Canada, which is not necessarily synonymous with affordability.
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With a little bit of research, organization and just being more present and mindful during the moments when we pull out the credit cards, wonderful things can happen to your wallet size. There is always a way to go lighter on your expenses, or find a better return on your investments or even find a better job(s) opportunities or extra cash.
Most of us were raised with the idea that finances are tricky but believe me when I say that the only tricky thing is building a habit and sticking to it.
And remember!!! There is nothing shameful in getting things second hand. You are making a conscious, environmentally friendly, financially savvy decision. If anything, you are badass for not giving in to social pressures of the consumerist mentality. You are fighting the status quo and swimming against the current.
*Badass*
The Tardigrade Mom 